Stop Waiting to Lead: How to Build Influence in K12 Now

New leaders often ask me how to earn influence before they have authority. My answer surprises them: stop waiting for permission to lead.

This year, I had the privilege of sitting on a leadership panel for CoSN’s Early Career K12 CTO Academy. While the focus was technology, the conversation kept circling back to a deeper truth: the challenges facing emerging leaders aren’t about mastering new tools or systems. They’re about navigating the human dynamics that determine whether any initiative—curricular, operational, or technological—actually takes root.

In an era where families have choices and districts compete for trust, leaders who wait for formal authority lose ground to those who build authentic influence. Whether you’re leading from a classroom, a department, or aspiring to the cabinet table, the principles are the same.

Here’s what I shared with those emerging CTOs, and what continues to guide me as I mentor leaders, coach executives, and prepare for my own next chapter of service.

Start with the Story, Not the System

When you step into a new leadership role, every instinct tells you to start with the work: budgets, workflows, initiatives, quick wins. Resist that temptation.

Your first responsibility is to understand the people system you’ve inherited. Before you change anything, learn the story behind what exists. Who built these systems? What challenges shaped them? What victories defined the culture?

I learned this the hard way early in my career. I walked into a role ready to “fix” what looked inefficient, only to discover I was dismantling solutions that staff had fought for years to secure. The system wasn’t broken: my understanding was.

Now, when I meet new team members or interview candidates, I start with two questions:
“How would your previous supervisor describe you?”
“How would your best friend describe you?”
Those answers reveal values, self-awareness, and adaptability, the qualities that matter when the real work begins.

Then I add what one colleague calls my “signature curveball”:

“How would you design a spice rack for someone who is visually impaired?”

I learned early that technical skills get you hired, but human-centered thinking keeps you effective. This question isn’t about spices; it’s about empathy, curiosity, and problem-solving. Do they ask clarifying questions? Consider multiple user needs? Think beyond the obvious solution?

That tells me more than any question about project management or software proficiency ever could.

Build Bridges, Not Barriers

The second most common question I hear: “How do I get a seat at the table when big initiatives are being discussed?”

My answer: don’t wait for the invitation. Build the bridge.

Be a resource to other leaders. Make their work easier. Help them shine. When you become the person who connects dots, translates complexity between departments, and keeps conversations centered on purpose rather than politics, people start saving you a chair.

And here’s the part that catches people off guard: when others get the credit, let them. Influence doesn’t need a spotlight. When you lead with service, your reputation grows faster than any title could take you.

This is especially critical in education right now. Superintendents aren’t just managing internal operations; they’re navigating board dynamics, community expectations, state mandates, and an increasingly complex political landscape. The leaders who rise are the ones who’ve already proven they can build coalitions, broker understanding between competing priorities, and stay focused on students when everyone else is focused on optics.

Start practicing that now, wherever you are in the org chart.

Cultivate Relationships in Every Direction

Leadership isn’t a vertical ladder; it’s a web. The most effective leaders I know cultivate relationships in every direction: up, down, and across the organization.

Principals and building leaders keep you grounded in what’s happening closest to students and families. They see the gap between policy and practice before anyone at the district office does.

Business and operations teams control resources, but more importantly, they control priorities. When you learn to speak their language and align your goals with fiscal realities, you become a partner instead of a budget line item.

Executive assistants often know more about an organization’s heartbeat than anyone else. They see patterns across departments, read the emotional temperature of leadership meetings, and hold institutional memory that no data system can capture. Respect their insight and influence.

Maintenance, transportation, and food service staff are the unseen backbone of every district. When they trust you, your systems work better, and so does your culture. They also talk to families every single day. Never underestimate the community intelligence they hold.

Whether you’re leading from the classroom or the cabinet table, remember this: your network isn’t your net worth. Your relationships are your reach.

Alignment Is the Operating System of Leadership

Strong leaders don’t operate in silos; they sync their goals to the mission of the organization.

If your district’s vision centers on student-centered learning, then every department—curriculum, technology, transportation, facilities, communications—should be able to draw a clear line from their daily work to that purpose.

When I’m coaching leaders through strategic planning, I ask them to test every major decision against one question: “How does this connect to our district’s core purpose?”

If you can’t answer it, the initiative probably belongs on someone else’s list, or not at all.

This is where aspiring superintendents often stumble. They excel in their functional area but struggle to translate that expertise into district-wide strategy. The shift from “here’s what my department needs” to “here’s how this serves our collective mission” is the difference between being a strong director and being ready for executive leadership.

Alignment isn’t about compliance. It’s about creating the conditions where collaboration becomes the default, not the exception.

Fairness Isn’t Automatic; It’s Designed

In any district, some schools will have access to more resources than others. PTOs raise different amounts. Grant opportunities vary. Community partnerships aren’t equally distributed.

That’s the reality of public education. But leaders have a responsibility to ensure those differences don’t translate into disparities in core experience or access.

I operate by this principle: use additional funds to enhance, not replace, what the organization provides for everyone. Core systems and supports should remain consistent, sustainable, and dependable across every building.

Before greenlighting any “extra,” ask:

• Can this be maintained long-term without additional funding?
• Does it create new burdens for staff who are already stretched?
• Does it align with our shared values, or does it advantage one group at the expense of another?

Strong systems create a foundation of trust. When people know the essentials are covered, that every student has access to quality curriculum, that every teacher has functional technology, that every building has safe facilities, innovation can flourish.

But when fairness is an afterthought, equity becomes impossible.

What Mentorship Keeps Teaching Me

Every time I mentor an emerging leader, I walk away reminded of this truth:
Leadership is not a role you arrive at. It’s a relationship you earn, every day.

Trust is the foundation of that relationship. It’s built through listening, alignment, and follow-through. It’s strengthened by empathy, service, and shared purpose.

And no matter how advanced our systems become, whether AI, automation, or analytics take the lead, the human side of leadership remains the hardest and most important to scale.

Tools may keep our systems running, but trust is what keeps our people moving in the same direction. And that’s the kind of leadership no automation can deliver. Only we can.

If you’re an emerging leader navigating these transitions, or a district investing in leadership development, these aren’t just theories. They’re the frameworks I use in my executive coaching practice and throughout my upcoming book, “Capes Optional, Communication Essential: Leading Out Loud in the Era of School Choice,” to help leaders build systems that serve people, not the other way around.

Because strong leadership begins with understanding. When we take time to learn what matters to people, we build the trust that makes every next step possible.