Creating Community by Invitation: Belonging at Every Level

Big conferences like ISTE, FETC, and CoSN often feel like family reunions for those of us in the education space, full of familiar faces, joyful reunions, shared laughs over lanyards and late-night brainstorming. But if you’re not already “in,” those same spaces can feel more like walking into someone else’s family photo.

I’ll never forget one evening at a conference where I was introducing a newer technology director I was mentoring that year to person after person as we ran into folks I’ve come to know over the years. She turned to me and said, “I’m never going to remember all of their names.” I smiled and replied, “That’s okay. They’ll remember yours; they already know each other. And now they know you!”

Later, that same colleague reflected on attending a different event in the past, and feeling alone and unconnected. “I felt like a ghost,” she told me. “I went to sessions and learned things, but I didn’t feel like I belonged.” But after participating in our state’s mentorship program and leaning into our community, she found her people. She felt seen. And that changed everything.

What We Do as Leaders Matters
Whether we’re onboarding new staff in our district, welcoming new members into a professional organization, or planning a retreat with our leadership team, creating belonging is not an afterthought. It’s culture work.

As leaders, we can’t assume that showing up equals fitting in. Inclusion takes intention. Belonging takes invitation.

My Own Conference Practice: Three New People
One of the most intentional habits I’ve built into every conference I attend is simple: I aim to meet at least three new people every day. That might mean saying hello in the coffee line, sitting at a table with folks I don’t know, or striking up a conversation at a networking event.

It doesn’t take long. But it sends a signal: You belong here.

Because if we want our professional organizations and events to feel like a family reunion, we have to make sure no one’s left standing on the outside of the circle.

When Leaders Listen, Belonging Grows
A couple of years ago, I attended a women’s leadership event where one participant admitted, on the very last day, that she had felt completely out of place at the beginning. She knew a few people, but it seemed like everyone else already knew everyone else. “Everyone was hugging,” she said. “I felt like an outsider.”

That feedback could’ve been brushed off, but the organizers took it seriously. The next year, they redesigned the experience. Smaller cohort groups. Leader-facilitators. Pre-conference virtual meetups. And you could feel the difference. The room buzzed with connection from the very first hour.

That’s what leadership does when it’s listening. It adapts the system to create space for every voice.

Applying the Same Thinking in Schools and Districts
This doesn’t just apply at conferences. As school and district leaders, we can embed the same sense of welcome and belonging into our systems:

–Onboarding isn’t a checklist; it’s a relationship.
Pair every new hire with a connector. Someone who introduces, checks in, and helps them find their people.

–Culture lives in the small moments.
Invite someone new to lunch. Ask for opinions in a meeting. Publicly recognize a new voice.

–Structure builds safety.
Create smaller teams, ongoing cohort groups, or monthly new staff check-ins that make it easier to find community, especially in large districts.

–Don’t wait to be told. Observe and adjust.
If someone looks like they’re standing on the sidelines, step out of your circle and bring them in. If you hear a whisper of disconnection, believe it and do something about it.

Belonging is Everyone’s Job
Yes, belonging can be built at the classroom level, and it should be. But the deeper work? It’s in how adults show up for each other: How leaders model welcome, how mentors create space, how systems shift from “you’re new” to “you’re already one of us.”

Whether we’re in a staff lounge, a boardroom, or a ballroom full of badge-wearing strangers, we all have the power to turn ghosts into guests, and guests into family.

So as we head to ISTE and beyond, let’s lead with inclusion. Let’s build culture through connection. Let’s make sure no one ever has to wonder if they belong.